Here comes the sun

I want to label this post and I thought of this song because it fits our lives right now to a T. If you didn't know our great news ..........

BRIAN GOT A JOB!!!!!

We are so happy this 9 month ordeal is finally over. Both Brian and I have full-time jobs ( who would have thought that would happen...not me). We are finally able to breathe in and out again. We are humbled by the whole experience and know we have gone through this for many reasons unknown.

Everyone kept telling us to hang it there it won't be forever...he will get a job. But the blinders of life were on and I couldn't see the beginning, middle, or end of the mess. It wasn't until I let go of trying to manage the situation and realize that I was working ...he wasn't right now... and It is what it Is... the Lord would provide.

It was amazing I let go.... he got an interview... and a job the next day.

Was it really that easy? Why did our little family have to go through this?

I have stopped asking those questions and am now feeling the sunshine the joy and happiness.

Here comes the Sun...do do do do ...Here comes the Sun....It's all right!

Growth

I am grateful for the gospel in my life, for the love the Savior has for me. I felt strongly to share this with whomever will read.

Amongst the four children who were being children, the spirit found a way to touch me. To open my heart to the teachings of the Lord.

I learned or should I say relearned that Faith and Fear can not co-exist. Similar to a mother seeing her child take her first steps, I know my Savior is so pleased with what I have learned today. I moved forward taking just a baby step (although it feels so huge words cannot explain it). I have been filled with tears of joy and happiness. Feelings that I have not felt in a long time. My family witnessed my growth and the spirit in our home today. I know that this experience can never be taken away from us, for time and all eternity.



after conference was over I could not hold back the tears of joy anymore Johnny then said "mama go lay down and rest"....my sweet boy

Waking up cranky

HMMM I wonder why.....first thing I hear is MOM can you wipe my butt. So I get to the cube and I am a cranky little girl. Wanted to stay in bed this morning, rainy cold, ect... So my neighbor in the cube next to me says here try this a reflex ball for your feet. (she noticed I was dragging) so I put my socks on and rolled it around.
Not sure if it worked because it might have been the diet coke I pounded a few minutes after. Any way I am sure I will crash by four but that is why man made Excedrin.

The Cube

Monday, Monday Monday........back to the cube. That is the new name for my m-f life "the cube". My cube is set up with a phone two flat screen monitors, a keyboard, mouse, fancy gel mouse pad, a chair that goes up and down round and round, earphones with a microphone (pretty cool huh), a shelf to put my books on and 3 drawers. In those drawers are
Top: some mints, a spoon, lunch if i pack it, some change, mustard pack, my keys, cell phone, crystal light lemonade mix, salt and pepper, nuts, chapstick,and maybe a piece of hard candy
Middle: papers of info galore, Yoga magazine, EveryDay food magazine, People magazine, and page protectors
Bottom: File folder, my sneakers(for walks outside), a mini medicine kit, Excedrin(a must), Lysol wipes a must every Monday is the wipe down day for me.

Under the cube is my big red ball, sometimes I sit on it and other times I use it as a foot rest. I once almost took a spill so I hold on tight to the cube.

On my cube I have a jar with Kisses(also a must) I have 3 high lighters blue yellow and pink, 3 black pens and one nice scrapbooking pen ( not sure why). My basket has 3 types of lotions 2 pads of paper, lip balm, and a post it pad. I have two coasters from Hawaii, had sanatizer, and a box of tissues

I have a name plate Cheryl Keegan and put a palm tree hanging next to it so I don't forget to dream. I have information blasted all over the cube to help me remember things all I have to do is look and there it is.

My shelf has 3 binders on it and 3 magnets the kids made 3 pictures of our family 1 of Johnny boy smiling at me. I have my old Gap name badge up there too.

And the best thing of all is my corner of the cube that reminds me of why I am there everyday.

A letter from my Matthew (13)

Dear Mom
Thank you for putting us before yourself
Thank You for working and supporting our home.
Thank You for loving me

I love you mom
Matt

Truely priceless

Happy Spring

New Jersey Shore
December 2008

Spring is this week and I can hardly keep my feet warm. After church Johnny and I snuggled to keep each other warm. I sure hope old man winter leaves soon. I don't know about you, but I get the winter blues. I found an article in a Yoga Magazine that made me think differently.

It said to think of rain as cleansing not dreary, and to think of winter as hibernation not cold and never ending.

I guess I should look on the bright side of things, we could be living further north where winters last much longer than here.

Here is an update on our family. Brian ( I hate to use finally), but finally completed his RN requirements for the lovely state of TN. He called on Friday and it was sitting under a pile of papers waiting to be processed. How's that for having your life in someonelse's hands. He applied to Vanderbilt and we shall see. I am still working 11-8 and still not use to the full-time thing and juggling life and mother-hood and me-time. I am grateful for everyone who has us in their prayers because we feel the prayers working. The Lord is looking over us. I know it seems I have been a grouch lately , anti-social, ect.... hopefully if you love me you can over look my weaknesses. The kids are learning about how life can be rough early one. The are adjusting and coping better than I thought they would. They miss their Mom and hopefully someday it will all work out the way it should...what ever that is.

Happy Spring

friday

march 20th

Peace

For many months now I have been toiling over what to pray for. As I was teaching my primary class on Sunday it was revealed.
Joseph Smith had an argument with Emma one day then went on to translate the Book of Mormon. He found that he was unable to translate so he went to pray. He prayed to have peace with his wife. He went back to her and had his peace then was able to transcribe again.(this is not word for word)

So i almost began to cry in front of my class because that was a message for me from the Lord. I need to be at peace especially with my husband. All of my internal turmoil can be settled if I just pray for peace. Last night I did. I prayed and sobbed and prayed only for peace and now I know what my Heavenly Father wants me to pray for... peace. I am slowly seeing more clearly and have much more to learn from this situation, but peace is with me.

I now understand why the Lord puts us through these trails he wants us to learn. Such simple things, yet so complicated we make it, forcing against what should come so easy to us. Then when we comprehend what was to be learned it is so clear.
May someone out there learn from my peace experience

She works hard for the money.....

and the family pays the price. Most of you know I am now working full-time so our family can survive these crappy times. I am very grateful to have a job that has benefits and a steady income. Just yesterday I realized that I need to acknowlege that it may be like this for longer than I thought. I am not GOD nor will I wver be able to change the universe. I can't make things happen and certainly can't waste my thoughts and energy on trying. It is what it is ...yes I am very sad and cry a lot, but chose this life and picked my path. So cry I will and laugh it away becasue it is out of my hands.

Have a great week and be thankful you are in the position you are. Becasue .....

IT IS WHAT IT IS

btw a nice friend thought of me today and gave me a palmtree paper weight for my little cubical desk. Thanks ..... it will make it easier just looking at it and knowing someone is pulling for me during my down times