Loss

Did you ever lose something of value, something that had sentimental value.
It was an oridanry day and I was getting out of the shower, went to the sink and gasp! I grabbed my neck...it was gone. I looked on the ground and in the shower no where to be found. Ran over to the bed pulled the sheets off ...nothing. When, where, why? It was a perminant fixture on my neck, I always wore it, always. Since 2004 when I went to Hawaii with the B-man. I remember seeing it and I said to him oh isn't it me? It was a very modest price nothing fancy about it. It was who I am and what I love. It was joined by something dear to my heart. A little gold piece about half the size of my pinkie nail, engraved with something else dear to my heart. It was my grandmother's and she didn't have much when she passed away. Her belongings were scattered down in my aunt's basement and after everyone picked through her stuff I found it. It was a treasure that no one found. It was in a little box with some other Cathloic saint's pieces. It was so tiny, but had a little hole at the top that was able to hook on my necklace and fit so perfectly behind my palmtree. I often would grab it and feel it and remember the love she had for me. We had a connection, I am not sure why it was so special. I was the third of the many grandchildren she had. It was a spiritual connection that maybe others didn't have. I was able to complete her temple work a few years ago and it was more powerful than anything I have felt in the temple before.
Knowing that it can never be replaced I guess is the sad part. It is like losing her all over again. Selfish it may be, but feelings are not to be denied. The pain will pass and it happened for a reasons which I may never know. So, as for now, my neck will be barren. My hand will go to touch and feel nothing. But, knowing that I can reach for my heart and the things I love are inside brings comfort no material object can.